Once finished the dog continued down along the street, still moving at a relaxed pace, his mistress pacing behind him. The dog kept stopping to sniff things. To walk a hundred meters took the two of them nearly ten minutes.
Then they picked up the pace. At a march the two continued to a door beside a donut shop. The women left the dog, lead hanging on the ground. In the donut shop she bought two coffees, an extra large triple cream, no sugar, and an extra large double-double, along with a dozen mixed donuts.
Outside the store she unlocked the door, and the dog preceded her up the stairs. At the top of the stairs she squeezed past to unlock and open another door. Once they were through it she turned and locked it, and placed the coffee and donuts on the dining room table which took up one end of the room.
The dog patrolled through each of the rooms of the small apartment, then checked all the windows. Satisfied he jumped up onto the bed, and stretched out.
The muscles under his fur bunched, and started to crawl. His breathing came faster and faster, grunting noises coming from his mouth. The muzzle shortened, the fur receded, the bones moved, and an enormous fart ripped through the apartment.
Coughing the woman staggered into the kitchen and turned on the fan above the stove. It was really bad this time, the washroom fan wasn’t going to handle the reek.
Methane was a danger but she could’t stand it. Quickly she opened a pack of incense, and lit a stick. The incense smell started to cover the reek. It still wasn’t enough and she leaned over the kitchen sink and puked up her lunch, her breakfast, and yesterday’s supper. This was a bad one.
There was a final groan, and three hundred pounds of naked man rolled off the bed onto the floor. “Excuse me,” he said and staggered into the washroom. She carefully washed her mouth out, then opened her coffee.
From behind the closed washroom door came another ripping fart, even louder than the last one. Five minutes later the toilet flushed, and the man lurched out of the washroom.
“Man that was rough.” He coughed. “Oh, my chest hurts. My ass hurts. Everything hurts. I wish I was twenty years younger.” He pushed scanty white locks away from his eyes. “Sorry about that doll.” He grabbed the coffee marked triple cream, popped the cap, and took a swig.
The woman looked at him. “Dad, you aren’t going to be able to keep on doing this much longer. I thought that the change was going to kill you this time. By the way, you’re hanging out.”
Still sipping the coffee the old man looked down. “Um. Forgot. Be right back.” On his way into the bedroom he tossed back over his shoulder, “Don’t forget to call the cops, I got it planted on her car.”
“Dad, go teach your Grandmother to suck eggs. Or rather don’t, since your Granny’s been dead for fifty years, and I want to keep you around for a while yet.” A frown crossed her face. “And that means no more changes until I’ve had a chance to give you a full physical at the office. The change is hard, and a seventy year old man should’t be playing at the same stuff he did when he was twenty. You’re just lucky you have an understanding MD in the family.”
*****
Two hundred and seventy kilometers north, near the small town of Cobalt, the new machinery recently installed on a century year old silver mine glistened in the sun. The mine was now in full production, and large amounts of silver ore were coming to the surface, where it was being loaded into boxcars for the train ride to the smelter.
The mine boss watched the operation with a smile. Two years ago he’d been on welfare. Now with the price of silver averaging over $1000.00 per kilogram he had work again. That the mine owner did things a little weird, well, that was fine with him, as long as it was safe.
And it was safe. You couldn’t fault their safety precautions. Thank God they weren’t like those crazy American coal mining companies, who didn’t give a damn how many men died underground. Mine number FortyFive had some of the best safety systems he’d ever seen, and he’d worked underground precious metal mines all over North American.
All brand new equipment too. Wonderful equipment. Equipment that made them incredibly productive. It didn’t have a quarter of the staff that a normal mine had, but the miners were well paid.
It was great working for a company where management cared. All was right with the world for him.
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